I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Too much gin, very little bucket
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
