Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
