Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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