I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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