i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
