Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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