sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
false alarm, still single
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
