You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
