the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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