lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
