wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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