remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
