she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
