so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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