I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
