when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
