Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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