i barfeds in our rink
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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