Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
