How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
