My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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