I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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