I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
