Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
