Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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