11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
