I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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