But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
