its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
