I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
