You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
