I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
