Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
