You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
