I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
