too bad you live with your parents still
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
whose ass print is on the piano?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
