Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
