idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is Oprah even human
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
