Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
