I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
