In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
