I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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