It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize