I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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