just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
