it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
