Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
