Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
