Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
