Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
